Today my sweet husband Larry will hold his mother's funeral service and have her ashes interred next to his father. He was a constant source of comfort for her as she struggled with Alzheimer's. Obituary for Norma C. Marrs
Norma Marrs, age 98, passed away peacefully, following a stroke and surrounded by family, at Hospice House in Bellingham on Thursday, January 12, 2017. She was born February 22, 1918 in Aberdeen, WA to Harper and Anna Coons.
She married H. Wayne Marrs on December 18, 1938. Norma attended Grays Harbor College and later in life attended Seminary of the Southwest in Austin, TX. Norma was involved in Christian education with several Episcopal Parishes in Utah, Louisiana, Texas, and Washington and with the National Episcopal Church where she provided leadership for church school curricula development. She was actively involved for many years as a staff member or volunteer with Christian Education and several guilds at St. Paul’s Episcopal Church in Bellingham. She also served with St. Andrews Episcopal Church in Aberdeen, WA. Norma was passionate about serving others any way she could; she was a long-time member of P.E.O.; was an accomplished water color artist, and a gourmet cook.
She was preceded in death by her husband the Rev. H. Wayne Marrs and grandson Jon Marrs. She is survived by her sons Larry (wife Billie) Marrs of Bellingham and Jim (wife Jeanne) Marrs of Price, Utah; grandchildren Mike, Kim, Kelly, Jerry and Jeff, and step-grandchildren James, Kelly and Michael; sister Betty and niece Vicki; and many other loving relatives and friends.
A Burial Eucharist will be held at St. Paul’s Episcopal Church on Thursday, January 26th at 10 AM. Reception following. Memorial donations may be made to St. Paul’s Episcopal Church Alms Ministry at 2117 Walnut St, Bellingham, WA, 98225 or to Whatcom Hospice at 2806 Douglas Ave, Bellingham, WA 98225.
His mother pleads, she has seen this happen before
His father just packs his son’s bag and they drive away
No money, no friends, at the mercy of strangers
The street, the alleys, the cheap motels
But the church doors are closed
How could you do this
She’s seventeen and looking for a way out
Will she finish school, go on to college?
Her boyfriend walked away when he found out
A young couple will raise her baby
Explain how much she loved her baby
Enough to let them raise her child
But the church doors are closed
How could she give her baby away?
At seventeen he is now a she
She’s known since she was three
She learned to hide it well
Pretend that all was well
Football, basketball, all American boy
He had the looks, the brains,
The girls all fawned over him
He played the part well
Until he quit acting
Now the church doors are closed
He is no longer welcome
She’s twenty-one in a town far from home
Going to college and working for minimum wage
married to a man who takes his frustration out on her
The news that she’s pregnant means nothing to him
One two, she’s down for the count
Her parents won’t let her come home
They would be too disgraced for their friends to find out
Take care of it they said or don’t come home, ever again
It wasn’t her first choice but she has to get out
She’s not sure she can save herself much less someone else
She makes a hard choice
Hours later she is on a bus home
But the church doors are closed
How could you do such a thing
She’s twenty-eight and has it all
A perfect job that pays big bucks
A fancy house and shiny car
a maid to clean and cook her meals
She has a folder filled with x-rays
A drawer full of make-up good for cover-ups
A closet full of long sleeve clothes
She is adept at lying
Making herself out to be clumsy and accident prone
High school sweethearts
Well there is nothing sweet about this
Control of another by any means possible
She sits on the white rug next to the broken glass table
Her arm is twisted, her head is bleeding
She dials 911 before it is to late
But the church doors are closed
She must have done something wrong
Thirty-five, fifteen years of marriage, and three kids
He cheats, he lies, he drinks, he smokes, he gambles
She does the best she can
Shops the thrift stores and fixes budget dinners
She tucks the kids in and listens to their prayers
She apologizes to her kids to explain away his actions
She tries to fix her broken family
But the cracks just keep getting bigger
Everybody likes him, who would ever believe her
She takes a chance and makes a break
But now the church doors are closed
How could she do such a thing
He served his country well
He almost died several times
He can’t forget what he has seen or done
The nightmares live in the daytime
He can’t work, he barely functions
His family has left him
He doesn’t have a reason to live
He tries to forget with a bottle and pills
Living out on the street with handouts from strangers
To look at him now you never would guess
That he had a chest full of medals
But what good are they now
He’s down and he’s out
A broken-down soul
The church doors are closed
Because he’s dirty and smells of the street
She’s a wife and a mother
Not superwoman nor wonder woman
Just an ordinary loving woman
She volunteers in the PTA
Attends church, potlucks, socials, and tithes
Donates her used clothing, and gives to the food bank
Teaches her children to be kind to others
Reads Bible stories of God’s great love
If you call and say help, she’ll be right there
She’ll pray for you, support you, be your best cheerleader
But if you attack her family, watch out
Her daughter is gay and it makes no difference
Her daughter is her daughter, you can’t change that
And because she won’t deny her daughter
Or try to make her change, as if she could
Turn her out, shut her out, turn their backs
The church doors are closed
Because she won’t deny a mother’s love
Every time you shut the door
Another Christian turns away
You judge, you sneer, you bully
Your words hurt
You make people cry
Rejected by the church
Rejected by the parishioners
Rejected by their friends
Rejected by their family
Because if they don’t, they will be rejected
And those who are brokenhearted
They walk away from the church
They walk away from God
Every time you shut your heart
You disobey the 2nd greatest commandment
I was chosen by God before I was born
Nothing you can do about that
Remember the children’s finger game
Here is the steeple
Here is the church
Open up the doors
But where are all the people?
They’re standing outside the door
With hands raised high
Singing I am a child of God
Jesus loves the little children
All the children of the world
Red and yellow, black and white
Straight and gay
The broken hearted
We are all children of God
Outside looking in
Mark 9:42 “But
whoever causes the downfall of one of these little ones who believe in Me–it
would be better for him if a heavy millstone were hung around his neck and he
were thrown into the sea.”
Matthew 22: 37 Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God
with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ 38 This is
the first and greatest commandment. 39 And the second is like it: ‘Love your
neighbor as yourself.
Monday morning we called
and rented a car. A taxi picked us up on
base and took us to the rental car agency and within minutes we had wheels and
were on our way to explore Honolulu.
We headed to the National
Memorial Cemetery of the Pacific also known as Punchbowl National Cemetery’s the
Hawaiian name is “Puowaina,” meaning “Hill of Sacrifice.” This translation
closely relates to the first known use of the area which was as an altar where
Hawaiians offered human sacrifices to pagan gods. During World War II, tunnels were dug in the
rim of the crater for shore batteries to guard Honolulu Harbor. More than five
million visitors come to the cemetery every year to pay their respect to the 28,778
missing whose names are carved in marble tablets and to enjoy the panoramic
view from the Punchbowl.
As we rounded the corner
into the cemetery, it is almost enough to take your breath away. A small island with the American flag at
half-staff and two tree lined avenues leading up to the court of honor. We stopped in the small visitor’s center to
view artifacts that have been recovered from battlefields and wreckage. We barely talk above a whisper.
The dedication stone at the
base of staircase is engraved with the following words:
IN THESE GARDENS ARE
THE NAMES OF AMERICANS
WHO GAVE THEIR LIVES
IN THE SERVICE OF THEIR
AND WHOSE EARTHLY RESTING
IS KNOWN ONLY TO GOD
At the top of the staircase
in the Court of Honor is a statue of Lady Columbia, also known as Lady Liberty,
or Justice. She is reported to represent all grieving mothers and stands on the
bow of a ship holding a laurel branch. The inscription below the statue, was taken
from Abraham Lincoln's letter to Mrs. Bixby, reads:
THE SOLEMN PRIDE
THAT MUST BE YOURS
TO HAVE LAID
SO COSTLY A SACRIFICE
UPON THE ALTAR
A small chapel is hidden
behind Lady Columbia with marble floors and cabochons are inlaid into the
windows with the sun glistening through the colored gems. On either side of the chapel are two map
galleries which describe the major battles of the Pacific War.
Next on our journey for the
day was lunch at the Highway Inn in Honolulu and another Triple D recommended
place to eat. After ordering ice tea and
carefully checking out the menu Larry and I both ordered the Kalua pig
sliders. Kalua is the traditional
Hawaiian method to cook in an underground oven.
With all the construction it was a little hard to get to and parking is
sparse but the food was great and we laughed when we realized we were just
around the corner from Hank’s Haute Dog where we were at the other day.
I grabbed a Starbucks
before we ventured into the Foster Botanical Gardens for a walking tour. Queen Kalama originally owned the land before
being sold to Mary Mikahala Robinson
Foster and her husband. Mary Foster was
the daughter of Kamakana a Maui chiefess and grew up in the royal Hawaiian
social circle. Not much is known about
her life but she left a lasting tribute with the gardens.
There are many rare and old
trees in the gardens and you can only stand under them in amazement when you
look up into their canopies hundreds of feet above you or stand feet away from
massive tree trunks. When you enter the
garden there is a sacred fig tree that was propagated from a Bodhi tree planted
in Ceylon in 288 BC that Buddha sat under for inspiration and was gifted to
Mary Foster in 1913.
In the upper terrace we
found the Queensland Kauri, the Travelers tree, and Kapok tree standing tall
and proud. We rounded another corner
farther down the path and I saw a Cannonball tree that looked just like it had
cannonballs hanging all over it and beside it was a tree we had never heard of
called a Sausage tree. In the middle of
the gardens is Quipo tree that just leaves you stunned by its circumference and
height! Have you ever chewed a
chiclet? We saw a Chicle tree and this
is where modern chewing gum came from.
One of my favorite trees is the Baobab, just because of its size and
We finished the gardens by
walking through the conservatory filled with orchids and tropical plants and an
open air butterfly garden.
Traffic was not too bad
heading back to the base and Kelly arrived home with the little guy just after
we did and fixed quiche for dinner. Kyle
was off to the gym before work tonight.
We headed west on H1
Tuesday morning to see the west side of the island. We drove to Kapolei and then turned north through
Maili and stopped in Lualualei to buy sandwiches and sit on the beach for a
picnic. The tide was coming in and it
was pleasant to bask in the sunshine and the quiet, because today it’s a week
day on the quieter side of the island there are not many tourist. The scenery is definitely different on this
side of the island, dry, almost high desert like, no lush green vegetation and
it’s sparsely populated. The beaches
seem to never end. You go around a bend
in the road and it is more parks and more beaches with very few people and only
the occasional car.
After lunch we traveled up
the road to Waianae, Makaha, all the way to Ka'ena Point State Park where the
road ends and you have to turn around. It is hiking trails from this point on
and oh my we forgot our hiking shoes. Driving
back we saw a Small Asian Mongoose know as a 'Iole manakuke (e-oh-lay
ma-na-coo-kay) run across the road. Yes
I had to look up the animal on google and while I can give you the spelling in
Hawaiian, don’t ask me to say it. They
are invasive animals in Hawaii and they are trying to remove them from all the
islands. We stopped at Makaha to watch the surfers and
enjoy the view.
We saw a store as we passed
by that advertised $10 tires….no way.
Can you imagine the stories those tires have to tell. Where they have been. How they have been abused. How much tread is left or how many times they
have been patched?
We drove back to Waipahu
and took highway 750 north. Within
minutes the scenery was altogether different.
Here is the valley where bananas, pineapples, taro, and many other crops
are grown. The fields are lush and full
and everything is green again. We drove
past Schofield Barracks and on to highway 930 to the other side of Farrington
Hwy. that we were on earlier today. A
small point of land on either side of the point is only accessible by hiking
trails. The waves on the north side of
the island are putting on a more magnificent display than the west side but no
surfers, only hikers at this end of the island.
We saw several glider planes
get towed from Dillingham Airfield and then watched as they circled the sky
before landing along with the tow planes.
Larry said it looked like they were dong touch and go’s probably for
their hours needed for certification.
The small airfield is also used for sky diving.
On the way back to Haleiwa
we passed a place that said horseback trail rides at Mokuleia, and thought next
time we come to visit maybe the little guy and his parents would like to go for
a beach ride. We watched several stand
up paddle boards at the boat marina and what looked like an outrigger canoe
team practicing. We crossed over the
little bridge in town to see the east side of town which was not much and then
back across the bridge to see the town that was covered in darkness when we
came to dinner last week.
We decided to drive back home
on highway 99 to H2 and then stopped in Mililani to go to Costco to buy
chocolate covered macadamia nuts to take home as gifts and to find something
for dinner, and of course while you are Costco you always find a few more items
you didn’t know you needed until you got in the store. So it is cheese pizza for the little guy and
grandma and clam chowder for Larry, Kelly, and Kyle, or so I thought. Everyone decided pizza for an appetizer was
great with chowder and pretzel rolls for the main course, except me….no way, no
fish, no how…no, no, no.
When we got back to base I
had Larry drop me off at the preschool and I picked the little guy up and we
walked home holding hands. I’m going to
miss having him tell me about his day and the fact that he looks forward to
having grandma walk him home.
In my stocking at Christmas
was Jamberry nail wraps so tonight Kelly did my nails and then hers. All pretty now to go to the aquarium
Wednesday is our final full
day in Hawaii. We returned the rental
car and Kelly followed us and we went to breakfast at Koko Head Café. Chef Lee Anne Wong is a world famous chef and
this little café is off the beaten path for tourists so it was great that Kelly
and Kyle had already checked out this place.
We only had to wait about fifteen minutes to get seated and we started our
meal with coffee and doughnuts, cinnamon sesame cake donuts with a Kona coffee
creme anglaise sauce. Drinks ordered,
food ordered and when the food came it was too much to finish. A great way to start the morning.
We returned home to check
in for our flight home tomorrow and then we were off to the Waikiki aquarium
which has been open since 1904 and is the second oldest public aquarium in the
United States. It is not a large place
but has nice exhibits, friendly staff, and the best part was my grandson loved
it and especially touching the hermit crabs and the sea urchins. The oldest and largest giant clams in any
aquarium in the world live here and two of them weigh over two hundred
We drove around Waikiki
beach and then went to get frozen yogurt before going home. While Kelly was cooking I took the little guy
to the park to play soccer, run through the water spouts, and play on the
equipment. Kelly fixed shrimp cakes for
everyone else and I had leftover pizza since I am not a fish person.
One of the best websites we
found for things to do in Oahu was: http://www.to-hawaii.com and while we tried to do as much as we could,
there is still more to see and do for another trip.
Kelly took us to The Guru
Glass of Honolulu where she works to meet her boss before we left for the
airport. Kelly loves her job, her
bosses, her coworkers and it makes us happy to see her happy. We arrived early at the airport, unloaded our
luggage, hugs, and kisses for Kelly and then we checked in.
The airport is beautiful
with the open glass corridors leading to the different terminals and a small
garden below, near our terminal that is so serene. No first class seats this time. We were almost an hour late taking off but
finally in the air.
We arrived in
Portland with enough time to buy sandwiches and then the dreaded announcement. Our flight from Portland to Bellingham would
take off but due to fog in Bellingham, there was a chance that it would not be
able to land and would have to return to Portland and we would fly out the next
morning. An act of God does not get you
a room for the night paid for by the airline, so you are on your own if this
God was looking out for us
and the fog had lifted by the time we reached Bellingham. We arrived later than expected and Stacy had
volunteered to pick us up but since she had to work the next day and we weren’t
sure we were even going to make it to Bellingham we told her we would take a
I am not really sure why
people say good-bye because leaving family is never easy and really hard. The term originated from Godbwye or God be
with ye. I’ll go with the Hawaiian
phrase: Ke Akua pu a hui hou meaning God
bless you and see you later.
Saturday, Kelly and I took
off for a little after-Christmas shopping and to see some of her favorite
boutiques (Soha was just one I could remember) and various vintage stores. We had lunch in China town at Fresh Café. We didn’t buy much, the find of the day was
little tiny blue green Christmas trees that will surely find their way into a
craft project next year….oh and Starbucks coffee, buy one get one…never heard of
this but it was a great deal
We drove up to the North
Shore to Haleiwa for dinner of Mahi and
burgers. A great drive to see part of the island and enjoy a meal with family.
Sunday, Kelly and I headed
out to run errands with the little guy and we started at his favorite store,
Target. He likes to check out the dollar
bins, toys, shoes, but does really, well, just riding around in the cart taking
it all in. Next up was Costco his second
favorite store because of all the food you can taste and there is always the
chance of getting a slice of pizza--but not today. Today we bought crab for dinner and the
little guy gets the shell, it’s a big deal.
Throw in a few clams, pretzel rolls, salad, and you have the makings of
a really good feast.
Monday I walked down to the
preschool and picked the little guy up.
He held my hand and asked a hundred questions about every little thing
he saw on the way home and I tried to answer each question before he asked me
something else. Playtime, nap time, and
I fixed dinner since Kelly had to work today.
After dinner we tried to get our base passes but the air force gate only
issues one day passes so we have to go to the navy gate another day. Kelly and I headed off to Walmart on the back
streets because the freeway was almost at a standstill. We wound our way west, with the occasional
northward uphill downhill, great evening views of the shoreline with all the
lights glistening out ahead of us. It
was movie night when we got home.
Tuesday the little guy
requested that grandma pick him up from school after lunch and we go to subway
for a snack. Subway is only across from
the school so we stopped and had lunch together and even bought lunch to take
home to papa. It is so nice to be outside
in seventy degree weather, short sleeves, and the warmth of the sun just
sinking into my bones relieving the ache I get when the weather is too
cold. We fixed Naan bread pizza for
dinner, everyone choosing what they wanted for toppings.
Wednesday, papa and grandma
walked down to the preschool to pick up the little guy and spent the early
afternoon playing monster trucks. Nap
time for everyone to get ready for New Year’s Eve. The parents went out to dinner and papa and
I took the little guy to the park which is nice because it is only about a
block from the house. We arrived back to
start dinner when Kelly and Kyle came home to see the little guy before going
out to celebrate with friends. Now it’s
a movie on the tablet for the little guy, football on the television for papa,
and grandma gets the computer. In Hawaii
they drop the pineapple at the same time New York drops the ball, so we
celebrated early at seven PM.
Kyle has to work tonight so
he is sleeping while Kelly takes us sightseeing on Thursday. We started out with lunch at Uncle’s Fish
Market and Grill. Kelly, the little guy
and Larry all enjoyed assorted fish entrees and I had a prime rib hamburger on
a Hawaiian bread roll, and everyone agreed the food was good. We drove east towards the windward side of
the island, passing Diamond Head and catching brief glimpses of the ocean. We saw Haiku Stairs referred to as the Stairway
to Heaven one of the most popular of Oahu's "forbidden" trails and,
even if it was not blocked off the public, I am not sure we would want to hike
the 2,120-foot, 3,922-step ascent. The beaches were full of tourists but the
parks were closed due to it being a holiday.
I love the old trees, standing
tall with twisted branches reaching outward and upward and some with massive
trunks, everywhere on the island and on Hickam Air Base. Too bad they won’t grow in the cold wet
northwest. Some of my favorites are the
Sycamore fig, Plumeria, Baobab, Bo Tree, Ficus Banyan Tree, Monkey Pod or rain
tree, Pili Nut, Tamarind, Cassia Javanica also called the rainbow shower tree,
and the Moraceae fig family.
We drove through Kaneohe
and saw the street blocked off with barricades and police cars leading to the
house where President Obama and his family are vacationing. We also saw the jet boats in the canal
keeping guard and the other side of the waterway was blocked to boat
traffic. This is probably as close as we
were going to get but we can say we vacationed with the Obama’s on Oahu during
We stopped at Heeia State
Park to stretch our legs and take in the view of Kaneohe Bay. We also saw the wild chickens wandering the
park and some of the two hundred and fifty cats that call the park home and are
fed every day. They said people just
drop off their cats when they move and leave them at the park. It’s nice they are fed but I can’t imagine
leaving a pet who is like a family member in a park to fend for themselves.
We passed a Longs Drugs store
and while most people would not even notice this unless they needed something,
I once worked for Longs Drugs in their general office and fixture shop for ten
years. CVS now owns Longs but did not
change the name in Hawaii. Down the road
we saw a windmill farm and cows, lots of cows.
We stopped for our next island experience at a little roadside shop
selling Hawaiian shaved ice. Kelly and
the little guy had not yet had the experience so we all shared a new treat
although I opted for the tropical fruit smoothie and Kelly shared a taste of
her shaved ice.
We drove to Haleiwa on the
North Shore and then headed south towards home.
A quick stop at the grocery store and then home to make dinner, watch a
movie, catch up on football and bed.
What a wonderful day.
Kelly had the day off on
Friday so we headed to the health food store, Starbucks, and Target before
returning home to pick up Larry and then stopping for Kyler at preschool. We got our base passes and then Kelly took us
to Ford Island to see the USS Utah that was torpedoed on December 7th,
1941 and rolled over and sank killing 64 soldiers. You can still see part of the rusty remains
of the ship that lies above the waterline and two buoys mark the bow and the
stern which lie under the water. We
walked along the water and Kelly pointed out bits of metal and glass that were
fused to the rocks when the ship exploded.
It is not permissible or acceptable to dig up glass or metal but if
pieces are loose lying on the ground it is okay to take one. Kelly said people come looking for glass with
words or dates and today we found a piece of green glass with the number 943 so
we are guessing this is part of a bottle from a solider during the war, and it
was common for bottles to be marked with a year, so we think this bottle is
1943. We found some sort of metal gear
or knob lying loose but left it with the remains on the beach.
Kelly drove us to the other
side of the island to see the memorial for the USS Oklahoma which was also
bombed on December 7th 1941 and 439 soldiers lost their lives. The black granite wall suggest the hull of
the USS Oklahoma and the white marble standards represent the Marines and
Sailors who died that day. Each standard
symbolizes a white dress uniform standing at attention manning the rails of the
There are several black
marble slabs with famous quotes. Below
are four that stood out for me.
1.John 15:13 Greater love has
no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.
2.They fought together as brothers
in arms; they died together and now they sleep side by side. Admiral Chester W.
3.Let every nation know,
whether it wishes us well or ill, that we shall pay any price, bear any burden,
meet any hardship, support any friend, oppose any foe to assure the survival
and the success of liberty. President John
4.That was the most horrible
scene that you could ever think of. Shipmates
there you can't help them. Ship cook George Brown
You can also see and tour
the USS Missouri which was the ship where the Japanese surrendered. I was on board the Missouri named for my home
state years ago when it was at Bremerton Washington.
General MacArthur September
2, 1945 aboard the USS Missouri in Tokyo bay:
“Let us pray that peace be now restored to the world and that God will
preserve it always. These proceedings
are closed.” And with those works World
War II was finally over.
If only those who choose to
control other people and countries for their own personal gain and greed could
understand the cost of war for those who gave their lives, those who are still
missing in action, those who return home injured, those who may never recover,
and the family and friends who are effected by a war. We will always defend our country at home and
aboard and others countries should never mistake our wish for peace as a sign
There was a group of
preteens running around the Oklahoma memorial shouting about who died first,
jumping up and down slapping the memorial markers, being totally disrespectful. Kelly mentioned to the mothers that this was
a memorial and they should show respect and the mothers just sort of causally
told their kids to stop, which they didn’t.
Larry said the kids probably didn’t know better. They probably didn’t but they were all old
enough to understand and certainly their mothers were old enough to understand
and explain that this was a memorial to honor those died. It made me cry to look at those markers and
the USS Missouri and think that US citizens can be so casual about our history.
It was past lunch time so
Kelly took us to Hank’s Haute Dogs in downtown Honolulu. Guy Fieri from Triple D on the Food Network and
Adam Richman Man vs Food on the Travel Channel both have done shows from there and
inside there is a photo of President Obama eating a Hank’s dog. Kelly and I both had the Chicago dog and she
also had the cheesy truffle fries and said she would eat cheesy truffle fries
every day if she could, Larry had the lobster dog and thought it was wonderful,
and the little guy had a regular hotdog.
Papa and the little guy
watched football while Kelly and I ran to buy more art supplies. I fixed dinner while Kelly was busy working
on her dream catchers and papa and the little guy were busy with football and
monster trucks. The little guy curled up
next to me on the sofa after dinner and watched part of a movie before
bedtime. It was a good day.
Kelly had to run into work
today and Kyler and I went with her.
When she came out of the office she had a piece of the best English
toffee candy I have ever eaten--and no way to get more. It looked like regular
toffee covered in chocolate and nuts but the butter toffee was soft, not a
chewy caramel but not a hard crunchy toffee, just sort of melt in your mouth.
They were a gift to my daughter at work, from a customer who gets them from a
friend who only makes them for family and friends. I need to be a friend.
We stopped off at McDonalds
to get the little guy lunch and then it was home for a nap. Mom and dad left for a movie and date
night. I put a pot roast in the crockpot
and after nap time took the little guy to the park.
One thing about being on
base is they have Reveille, the flag raising ceremony at the beginning of the
day, and Retreat, which is the flag lowering ceremony at the end of the
day. President Woodrow Wilson once said,
"This flag, which we honor and under which we serve, is the emblem of our
unity, our power, our thought and purpose as a nation. It has no other
character than that which we give it from generation to generation. The choices
are ours. It floats in majestic silence above the hosts that execute those
choices, whether in peace or in war. And yet, though silent, it speaks to us --
speaks to us of the past, or the men and women who went before us, and of the
records they wrote upon it." On the base, military personnel should stand
at attention and face the American flag or the direction of the music if the
flag is not visible. Civilians should
stand at attention and place their right hand over their heart.
After Retreat we left the
park and headed home to have dinner, watch a movie, and have bath time. A good day is measured by hugs, kisses, and I
love you’s, and today was a really good day.
Every night my grandson says his prayers with his mom but tonight he
didn’t want to say his bedtime prayer that he usually says. He asked if he could pray for the soldiers
who died on the ships and ask Jesus to take care of them. The impact of seeing the USS Arizona, the USS
Utah, and the USS Oklahoma Memorial has made a powerful impression on him.
Sunday is pancakes and
scrambled eggs for breakfast. Larry and
Kelly were off to a one and a half hour Turtle Reef Snorkel tour. The tour provides the equipment and you just
show up for the fun snorkeling with the fish and turtles in the azure blue
waters. The Spirit of Aloha is
fifty-four feet long and thirty feet wide catamaran and takes you to the outer
side of the Turtle Canyon reef near Hilton Hawaiian Village. No whales but lots of turtles and fish and it
was a good adventure for the two of them while dad sleeps because he works
nights and the little guy naps and spends time with grandma.
Not just any Christmas in Hawaii but Christmas with my
daughter, son-in-law, our only grandchild, and it’s my first trip ever to
With the kids all grown and so many things have changed in
all their lives, none of them needed things so Christmas shopping was going to
be a little different. James and Nicole
have combined two houses full of stuff and just got married so they had wedding
stuff. They are going to need a 20’
steel container in their backyard to put it all and, hey, maybe that is an idea
for next year, but for this year it is date night dinners and movies. Michael doesn’t usually want stuff--but has
quite a bit of stuff, really good stuff, more stuff than he can use in his new
apartment with Kevin so he had to bring some of it back to store in mom and
Larry’s 900 sq. ft. shop, so they are getting theater tickets to see the shows
of their choice in Seattle. Kelly and
Kyle have stuff, giving some away before they moved from Las Vegas, posting
free stuff on Craigslist, selling the big stuff, and thinking about the 2,700
sq. ft. house they were living in and thinking about military quarters on base
in Hawaii--so they got a family pass for a year at the Waterslide Park. Sounded so easy--gift certificates--but I
think it was harder deciding how to buy 1 big gift than a lot of smaller
gifts. They are happy, Larry and I are
happy, Merry Christmas.
That was just the planning of Christmas gifting; now to
actually get there. I stalked Alaska
Airlines for weeks hunting down the best fares and flight times. We could fly straight through heading to
Hawaii, but who wants to return via Honolulu to San Francisco to Seattle to
Bellingham? Worse yet was a return from
Honolulu to San Diego to San Jose to Seattle to Bellingham. Really?
I didn’t really want to drive to Seattle and park the car for two weeks
and still run into the same sort of return problems. I wouldn’t give in and it finally paid off,
Bellingham to Honolulu with a return flight from Honolulu to Portland to
Bellingham. Those credit card discounts
finally paid off with me finding a discount ticket and Larry gets to fly for
$99 roundtrip. Booked. Done.
Our bags are packed we’re ready to go. Greg picked us up three o’clock to take us to
the airport. It’s nice to have good
friends willing to help out. When we did
our online check in the night before Larry suggested we upgrade to first class
for the six hour flight so we would be more comfortable. We are preapproved for TSA so we didn’t have
to take off coats or shoes for security.
We found our gate, not hard when you are flying out of a small
international airport, a little food, something to drink and we waited. Our plane arrived and we watched the new crew
head out to the plan to prepare for our takeoff.
We waited and heard the first of several announcements that
our flight was not ready--over and over again.
We were then told that we needed to fly to Portland to pick up more fuel
before flying onto Honolulu because of heavy headwinds, but first they would
need to off load and rearrange some of the fuel on our plane before flying to
I’m sure you’ve all heard the theme song from Gilligan’s
Island “Just sit
right back and you'll hear a tale, a tale of a fateful trip.” Three hours and three
hundred miles. We should have been half
way to Honolulu but we were stuck in Portland.
Refueling and we would be on our way.
Well not so fast, seems there is a hydraulic leak. We are going to be disembarking and changing
gates to board another plane in Portland to take us to Hawaii.
were checked but Larry and I each had a small carryon bag. Walking on concrete is not easy for Larry with
a metal plate and eight or nine screws in his ankle but we walked as quickly as
we could to our new gate to be told our original plane was ready and to
return. Half way back to our original
gate and plane we were told again, no go back to the new gate. Tired, hungry, frustrated I looked at Larry
as we stood in line again and said to Larry now they will need a new crew. Haha…one new pilot we had to wait for. Finally we were on board, buckled up, tired
and just ready to go. But wait…you think
they would have the plane ready before we got on but no they needed to fuel the
plane. Larry kept sending Kelly text
message for updates on our flight and I felt so bad because she had to work the
next day. It looked like our original
landing time of 10:12 PM would now be 1:30 PM.
time I had finished half a glass of red wine they came to take our dinner
orders only to tell us they were out of everything but shrimp. Well shrimp will make me sick so they finally
found me a pork and noodle meal that they sell in the main cabin. Okay I could deal with it or so I
thought. I tried to read, tried to sleep
and realized I was sick. Probably a
little stress, maybe the food, who knows, but I wanted to die and since that
wasn’t an option I prayed for sleep.
us with an orchid lei for me and a kukui nut lei for Larry. About the only good thing was our luggage was
ready within minutes after we got off the plane and Hickam Air Base is next to
the airport. I gave my sleeping grandson
a quick kiss and everyone headed off to bed.
a fairly lazy day around the house on Christmas Eve. Kelly had to work half a day. She left a gingerbread house kit for the
little guy and me to build using gumdrops, skittles, M&M’s, lots of
frosting, dots, sprinkles. I think the
little guy may have eaten more candy than actually went on the house, but that
is how kids decorate.
came home and we made sugar cookies and decorated them. This is the first time in twenty-nine years
that I have not baked ten to twelve dozen sugar cookies. It was fun and this time grandma may have
eaten more M&M’s than what she put on the cookies.
decided to do a little sightseeing and have dinner out. Driving around in seventy plus weather on
Christmas Eve is just amazing. Larry and
Kyle chose MAC 24/7 at the Hilton Waikiki Beach Hotel for dinner. We finally made our choices and then the
little guy and I explored the hotel and finally they got the floor to ceiling
glass doors to the garden open so we could go see the Koi fish.
We ended the night going to
see the Freedom Tower on Joint Base Pearl Harbor-Hickman. What a beautiful sight all lit up with color
changing lights from multicolor to solid colors. The Freedom tower built in 1938 is Moorish in
design and stands 171 feet high. It is
octagonal, made of concrete and has eight eagles weighing 2,000 pounds located
near the top of the tower. The tower was
built as a water tower and still used for that purpose today. It was also used as a radio tower during WWII
and signs of bullet holes are still visible today. We
ended the night at a small beach listening to the serene sound of the waves and
watching small aircraft land before heading home to open that one special
present on Christmas Eve--pajamas.
Christmas morning it was
kisses and hugs and get up grandma it’s Christmas. Kelly started a pot of coffee and the adults
were then ready to begin. What took so
much time and thought into planning for the perfect gift, what to ask Santa
for, the actual shopping for the gifts, wrapping them and hiding them, then
finally it’s time to unwrap and it took such a short amount of time. I will have to say though at five years old
our grandson didn’t just tear into and discard each gift. No, he wanted to open and play with each one
and had to be encouraged to keep going.
Spoiled…no way…it’s Christmas and what are Santa and grandparents for.
Special breakfast, which is
a tradition in our family, to make all holidays complete; then naps all around
and then Kelly prepared a ham dinner and completed our day with a birthday cake
for Jesus. When my children were young I
read an article about a woman who baked a cake to celebrate Jesus’
birthday. From then on we had pumpkin pie,
apple pie, chocolate desserts, whatever, but there was always a cake for Jesus
and she is continuing this tradition since His birthday is the reason we
celebrate the season.
The kids are off to a movie
after dinner and papa and I get the grandchild to ourselves. We have a whole new library of books to
choose from, and Legos, and games, and movies.
We are truly blessed to share Christmas with the little guy and his
The only thing better is if
I could bundle them all up with my other kids and my mom, all my nieces and
nephews and be together. Yes I am a
Kyle got up early to go get
tickets to visit the USS Arizona Memorial.
We never thought about five thousand visitors a day and a limited number
of tickets issued per day. Lucky for us
there are some first come first serve tickets given out each morning at seven
AM so Kyle made the sacrifice with the little guy to go secure them. Coffee, breakfast, playtime, time to get
ready and go.
We were lucky and found a
parking space close to the memorial and showed our tickets and allowed entry
into the memorial park. We walked
through one of the buildings that housed artifacts and photos and showed a
short film about WWII. Our tickets were
for one forty-five and they announced our tour time, again showing our tickets to
the next staging area and showing them one more time for entry into a theater
to watch a short film on the December 7th 1941 attack on Pearl
We were asked to turn off
our phones, no texting, no talking as a show of respect. It was hard to watch actual video and photos
of the death and destruction done to US citizens and our country. War, the destruction of innocent lives,
heartbreaking and not through our own choosing but a war brought on by another
nation wanting to own and control what was not theirs. We won the war but both countries lost so
After the movie we boarded
a shuttle ferry to the memorial. The
memorial is one hundred eighty-seven feet long and spans the width of the
ship. It was hard trying to hold back
the tears as you looked overboard and saw the sheen of diesel fuel still rising
form the USS Arizona that lay beneath us as a tomb for the 1177 soldiers who
went down with her. At one end of the
memorial are the names of the soldiers killed in action. We took the shuttle back to the park and
drove home. I’m not sure how much our
grandson will remember but today he understood that we were viewing a ship that
was attacked by a bomb and the people died.
My prayer today would be that he would never have to go to war when he
We spent a quiet afternoon
at home and then Kyle had arranged a date night dinner cruise to surprise
Kelly. Of course that means grandpa and
grandma get more time with the little guy.
What do you do for fun on a Friday night? I like living on the wild side…that’s a joke
to those who know me. A few years ago I
had the privilege of going on a ride along with the Sacramento Police
Department. Why would I want to do
this? I like knowing and understanding
what my children are doing, even if they are all grown up. My oldest son is a Sacramento police officer
and I think taking your mother to work is such a good idea, so we had a night
on the town in Sacramento.
When my son explained that he volunteered to work DUI /
driver license checkpoints, I thought this was something I would like to see
firsthand. I asked if it was possible
the next time I visited and he said he would ask. The answer came back as a yes and I filled
out the appropriate paperwork for the police department and MADD who I would be
officially volunteering with, and more paperwork.
I had flown down to the bay area to celebrate my mother’s
ninety-seventh birthday and it just happened to coincide with the next DUI
checkpoint coming up. Friday evening anywhere
in California means the city streets, side streets, and freeways are jammed
with traffic pretty much from early afternoon till Saturday afternoon with everyone
wanting to go somewhere that everyone else wants to go, and that all reverses
on Sunday with everyone trying to get home.
I left hours early for the drive from the bay area to
Sacramento and it wasn’t too bad. I only
had to slow the car to a crawl three or four times and most of the time the
traffic moved at fifty to sixty miles per hour.
I was meeting my son at his home and since I actually arrived a bit
early I found a Starbucks not too far from his home with time to enjoy my new
favorite drink from the secret menu, a raspberry Italian soda. A cold drink, a little air conditioning, and
I was back on the road, only a few miles away from my destination.
I was trying to be quiet as I pulled into the driveway but
realized if the dogs were peeking over the fence barking at me that Nicole must
be awake. Nicole is my soon to be daughter-in-law
and she works as a 911 dispatcher for Sacramento. Now, usually she would still be asleep
because she works graveyard, but this afternoon she was up fixing dinner for
us. Thank you Nicole…you gave up sleep
James arrived shortly after I did and the granddogs got to
come in and greet me face to face before they had their dinner. Lilly the cat finally decided, on this visit,
that I was okay and she graced me with not only her presence but gave me her
undivided attention to be petted and talked to.
Nicole fixed chicken salad with what seemed like every imaginable
topping you could add to it. My kind of
salad--a great dinner.
We all left the house about the same time as Nicole had an
errand to run before work and James needed to go to his office to meet his
partner before work. I got to see the
dungeon as he calls it. Very high tech
and very secure. Knowing what your son
does for a living still doesn’t prepare you as you’re watching him put on his
bullet proof vest and strap on his belt with his gun. I am so proud of him for not settling for just
any job and following his dream to become a police officer. Doing what you love for a living makes for a
much happier life.
Hanging in my son’s office is a motivational poster
attributed to Frank Outlaw (Frank Jackson).
“Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch
your words; they become actions. Watch your actions, they become habits. Watch
your habits, they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your
Great words to live by, but sort of funny considering
Frank Outlaw was a Texas outlaw and this poster is hanging in a police
James and his partner grabbed their gear bags and we headed
out to the Ford Taurus which was our ride for the night. We didn’t have far to go and pulled into a
local mortuary that had given permission to Sacramento PD to use their parking
lot for the evening. Sort of ironic to
be being doing a DUI check next to the mortuary. The police set up at Fruitridge Rd & Mendocino Blvd.
Trailers to haul the cones and equipment, the command center to process
paperwork and testing, K-9 for back up, assorted police vehicles set up for multiple
tasks, and lots of SACPD officers. Seven
PM to one o’clock AM.
Police Chaplains had tables set up with water, pizza, and desserts for the
officers working. A lot of these
officers had just finished working a full shift and then turned around to work
another six hours at the checkpoint.
If a driver is
suspected of a DUI, an expired/suspended license, no license, or warrants, the
license and a white tag with the suspected infraction written on it are placed
on the windshield and the car is sent to the parking lot where other officers
are waiting to process the driver.
whom I worked beside most of the night, has been on the force for twenty-four
years. He was insightful, informative,
and patient as he answered questions about his job and experiences as a police
officer in between being polite and respectful to the drivers who passed
through the check point.
My son was getting
ready to take his break and asked if I wanted to come with him. I laughed and said I didn’t want to leave and
miss all the fun. It is an amazing
instinct police officers have when one of their own might need assistance. Officer Frank was asking all the appropriate
questions to the driver stopped by us when all of a sudden his head comes and
up and turns to the left. As I glanced
in the same direction I was aware that every other officer had stopped and also
turned to see the sergeant and my son dealing with what appeared to be a drunk
pedestrian. No one remembered seeing a
pedestrian but knowing the situation was handled everyone went back to work.
passed when Officer Frank looked up, and said out loud “gun.” Now every officer was looking at the parking
lot at the funeral home as at least four officers had guns drawn, surrounding a
car, and more officers running to back them up.
One of those officers was my son.
Passengers were being asked to get out of the car and then removed from
the vehicle. It was under control with everyone
in the car being handcuffed until the situation was sorted out.
went back to checking cars but we noticed when we looked up that the car was
now being searched and everything removed from the trunk. A short time later the K9 unit returned to
the checkpoint and he began checking the parking lot and shrubs. Officer Frank explained that the dog was
trained for explosives so if there was a gun or ammunition the dog would find
it. Well all of this brought a few more
officers to the scene but it was under control.
work. Officer Frank asked the next
driver to roll down his window and put down his cell phone and produce his driver’s
license. (It is illegal to use your cell
phone while driving in California.) The
driver just sort of looked at Officer Frank and didn’t say anything. Again, politely, the driver was asked to put
down his cell phone. The driver looked
down and sort of mumbled but didn’t really talk. The driver handed Officer Frank his driver’s
license, turned his hat around and picked up his cell phone. The driver was told to put his cell phone
down again but when spoken to would only look down and mumble. The officer to our right had moved over
closer to us and when the driver picked up his phone again, officer Frank asked
him to get out of the car. Now the
driver could talk, wanting to know why.
Now the other officer was beside the car assisting Officer Frank. The driver was cuffed and taken to the
parking lot while Officer Frank drove his car into the parking lot. Once you are suspected of a DUI you cannot
drive any farther.
I moved on to
work beside another officer while Officer Frank took care of the driver and
paperwork. He returned a short time
later and I worked beside him until about an hour before the DUI checkpoint
closed down and he needed to finish his paperwork. I worked beside several other officers until
one o’clock when the DUI checkpoint closed down.
It was time to
breakdown the checkpoint line and it came down as fast as it went up. Everyone had a job to do and they worked
efficiently as a team. I walked over to
the parking lot to wait for my son to finish up his paperwork before he could
I watched as the
medics arrived to transport a suspect to the hospital. A few family/friends were still waiting for
paperwork to be completed so they could drive vehicles away. The tow trucks were arriving for the
remaining vehicles and probably eight or nine were towed and impounded.
The car my son
originally white tagged right before his break was the cause of all the
commotion we witnessed. Once in the
parking lot, the driver got out and instead of walking away, walked straight
across the street to where my son and his sergeant were. In walking the suspect back to the parking
lot they noticed his hands in his pocket and in removing his hands from the
pocket, the suspect dropped bullets which led the officers to believe the car had guns. The
three passengers from the car were removed while the car was searched. Two guns were retrieved from the car, one gun
was in pieces and the police think the occupants of the car threw the revolver
drum in a bush but it was never located. The K-9 was brought in to look
for it, but it was not recovered. And I thought all the excitement was going
to be out on the street.
paperwork, paperwork….hours of work to make sure every detail is written
down. An officer’s work is not done when
the day is over. At the end of the night
approximately one thousand cars had passed through the DUI/drivers license
check point. There were four
DUI’s, one medic call to the hospital, guns, dogs, multiple phone calls to
family and relatives to come get cars so they would not be towed (they are
given thirty minutes to find someone to retrieve their vehicles before a tow
truck is called and fees start accumulating).
As a civilian I climbed into bed and went to sleep while my son
was still up in the early morning hours working on his report. And after I slept in until eleven o’clock the
next morning I found my son still working on his report after a short nap.
I have nothing but respect for the Sacramento Police
Department and Sacramento MADD volunteers.
Please don’t drink and drive; designate a driver or call a cab.
Before heading home I had the honor of getting a tour of the
Sacramento Command Center for 911. I had
the chance to see Nicole working, responding to incoming calls, and was amazed
at how fast she can type. She was calm,
professional, and busy on a Friday night, even at two o’clock in the morning.
Married to Larry and we have five kids, a son-in-law, a daughter-in-law, two grandsons, one granddaughter, and a neighborhood cat. I focus on creating art and/or teaching mixed media, paintings, shabby chic decor, paper-making, watercolors, and mosaics.
My art has sold in several states, the internet, and in my own shop.