Friday, October 02, 2009

Happy 1 Month birthday Kyler


Home again. I’m packed, all the last minute things you throw in a suitcase. I’m ready…sort of. Kelly asked me to sit on the sofa and snuggle with her before I need to leave. It takes everything I have inside of me to hold back the tears but my voice cracks when I try to talk. I stay as long as I possibly can before kissing my baby girl good-bye and one last hug. I can’t cry, I can’t cry, I can’t cry. I need to see where I am driving.

Traffic isn’t too bad on the I-15 freeway and soon I arrive at the hospital. Baby Kyler is finishing his feeding and is warm and snug in his bassinet. I reached in to touch his cheek with my finger tips and then cup his head with my hand. He never stirs. I read “Goodnight Moon” to him then just stand watching the new man in my life, who has stolen my heart. His nurse talks with me and says what a good baby Kyler is. Feed him, change him, read to him, talk to him, and he is good. He is healthy and doesn’t require constant monitoring like some of the babies in the NICU unit. Kyler was so peaceful I couldn’t bear to open the bassinet to kiss the top of his head. Instead I kissed my finger tips and placed them on his head. I did this three times, once for great grandmother Breshears, once for grandpa Larry, and one for me, grandma.

I called Kelly to tell her I was leaving the hospital and that Kyler was perfect, just waiting for his mom and dad to visit tonight. This is no much harder leaving this time. It will be 2 ½ months before I see them again. Kyler will be so big at Christmas.

I returned the care to the car rental building and took the shuttle to the airport. I checked in through security, took the tram to my gate and then I called Larry. I am sure he must have wondered if I would really come home. I love Larry, body and soul, forever and ever, but the little guy is tugging on my heart strings.

Kelly said we should just move to Vegas so we could be close to baby Kyler. Maybe I should have played the slot machines while I was in Vegas and we could have retired in style. Maybe Larry should buy stock in Alaska Airlines.

The stewardess on the plane saw my tears and asked if I was okay. She brought me another napkin when I explained my tears and said she would pray for baby Kyler.


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